Creature of Habit

POSTED ON: Saturday, April 2, 2011 @ 5:48 PM | 0 comments

I am trying to find some self help guru advice on breaking habits. Everything we do is a habit, no matter if it's good or bad, it's a habit. What we eat, our lifestyles, our relationships, our fears.....they are all habits. I have a few that I want to break.
-what I eat
-how i think (self-talk)
-what I accept (relationships)

My thing is I am 25 years old! I want a family by 35 and in order to have a happy healthy family I feel like I have to get myself together. I dont want to be with someone for six or seven years and marry them because....um, we've been together for six or seven years and apparently theres a limit on how long two people can date without being married. I want to be happy, I will take whatever baby mama drama or family drama that comes along because life is life. It's not a smooth ride but I sure dont want a bad relationship making it worse.

When a woman falls in love, she falls in love. Period. I know it's going to happen and when it does I want it to be right. I dont want to have to make excuses for my man. I dont want to have to restart our relationship a million times because although I know I should stick a fork in it, I dont want to. I have my friends now but i dont want to be in a relationship right now. I'm having more fun setting goals and trying to further my program. #thankyouverymuch

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Love, and other drugs...

POSTED ON: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 @ 8:09 PM | 0 comments

I love that title. I honestly believe...that love is like crack. It erases our "common sense" and injects a sort of dramatic element. There are so many dead beat knight and shining armor's out there. No job, no goals, no money, no respect, neglect, love...hate, love...fight fight fight. I now understand what people mean by, love is for the fearless. The harder we love the harder we think we have to fight to prove that love..... but real love doesn't have to be proven. We make excuses and become so predictable as to find any reason no matter how small...valid or not to invalidate what makes sense because the truth isnt what we want it to be. But dont ever think that I still wont be a real friend. I am going to say what's on my mind whether you like it or not. That's just how I am. I dont sugarcoat anything because I dont want it sugarcoated for me. Knowing the truth will hurt my feelings momentarily but living a lie makes me vulnerable on so many levels. I respect a woman that's truthful about her and hers. period. I know one too. Has no problem saying yep...he hit me but it's ok now. There is no shame in her game although he doesn't have a job, beats her, cheats, lies, steals, and those are his best qualities. On a good day he's an ass. But I respect her because she doesn't lie and has no problem telling you her truth as if she wears it on her sleeve. She dont hide behind societal politics. What her friends think a man should be. She tells the truth. I honestly wish she would respect herself as much as I respect her. Her story would be much different.

Sometimes I dont think that we understand that our stories weren't meant to flow smoothly. Life nor love is beautiful without it's scratches and bumps and bruises but damn....you bruised up. What's scary is that women tend to allow one man to bruise them so much that they take those bruises into the next relationship and allow them to restrict it. God may just be pulling and tugging to get that entity away from us and we are just pulling and tugging to keep it there...... God is a mighty God.

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